Sunday, 23 April 2017
Anyway, to medicine.
For my final assignment for my ICU rotation - which was a fantastically educational rotation to have done - I have to write a two page reflective paper.
This is not what I would call a challenge, given my tendency to reflect at length about absolutely everything (incidentally this is public post number 1060. I have 142 in draft.) The question was which topic to pick of the many I identified whilst there. Eventually I settled on something that might quirk a few eyebrows, but I think provides very strong material for reflection. Only problem is that I've written three pages and have to trim it down.
Damn my prolix nature.
Next up is ortho, which feels like it is going to be rather intimidating. Ortho is not my natural milieu, and I had a baby three days after the end of that unit so most of what we did has gone completely out of my head.
This is a bit of a problem with all these two week rotations. I just do not have enough time to learn and actually absorb information before I'm onto the next one, and I have no time in each of the rotations to really absorb and apply the information. My exam for ortho is ten days into the rotation.
I'd planned to spend this weekend studying intensely, but between my husband being at Cub camp with our son yesterday, spending the evening in emerg with the wee one for x-rays (she's fine! Just very sore after her big sister tried too enthusiastically to get her to roll over again and accidentally twisted her backwards onto her arm. She can't move it very well, but it's not broken) and feeling just awful today, I've not gotten as much studying done as I'd like and I feel like I'm going to show up and be a huge idiot tomorrow.
But then I feel like that for every rotation, and so far only one preceptor has actually thought I'm an idiot. Or has at least expressed as much.
As for now, I'm going to go listen to some Tragically Hip (I'm doing paediatric ortho...) and read about classifying fractures.
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
It's nice to rotate through a bunch of services and all, but by the time I've learned how things are done on one unit, I'm moving onto another. I have three days left on this rotation - I've only done 6 because of the holiday weekend - and I'm just now getting to the point I feel like I'm able to comfortably do actual work that contributes to the team instead of primarily learning through observation or needing to be babysat through my work.
This is also just a really, really awful week for me right now. M is not sleeping at night and while I try to trade off with my husband so that at least one of us ends up well-rested, many nights neither of us is getting much sleep. I'm averaging probably 4-5 hours a night for the last 2-3 weeks, and that's really not an exaggeration. I can usually manage fine on that for a couple of weeks, but I am reaching the point of exhaustion saturation and I desperately need a reset.
I also have pretty much no downtime at all. I come home from work at 5-ish. Hang out with the kids, maybe catch up a bit on Facebook while my kids do their homework or use their screen time allowance, eat supper, play with the baby a bit while my husband gets the older kids to bed, and then I study until around 11pm, get ready for bed and lay out my stuff for the next day, then crawl into bed around midnight. Often the baby wakes up right around then, so I nurse her back to sleep (I'd have to pump if I didn't) and then get her settled right around then.
Then I get up around 5:30-6am, shower and dress and get to work for 7-ish.
Weekends are spent with my family, evenings once kids are in bed are spent studying.
I am almost never alone. Usually I'm nursing while I study, or I'm attempting to spend time with my husband - well, at least in proximity to my husband if not actually interacting with him - or I'm with the kids.
This weekend I took two hours - during the day when the kids were awake, at that - and went and played video games in the bedroom. All by myself for two hours straight. And I realized that was actually the longest stretch of time I had spent alone not doing something either for school or my family since I got back from Ottawa almost two months ago.
Sunday, 16 April 2017
I had my pre-CaRMS career counselling session last week and it went fairlywell. The counsellor said he's confident I could match to OB if I choose to go that route, but said he understands my concerns. My problem is pretty clear and I explained it to him: the career path I want is not really the best career path for me to take for my family's sake.
I've given myself until the end of June to decide.
Sunday, 9 April 2017
Monday, 3 April 2017
Med school, like med life, comes with a lot of paperwork.
Fortunately, the school is nice and organized and reminds us with plenty of time.
Also fortunately, I can submit my prenatal blood work from last year which will cover a bunch of the new requirements. It's quite possibly the first time having had a baby during med school has saved me time.
I've ordered my vulnerable sector check (which can be done online, yay!) and so all I have to do is do my TB testing since I think I'm considered as having exposures now because I've had clinical placements in hospitals with more than 200 beds.
My current placement is going middling to well. I'm not at all a natural with anaesthesia and feel very wrong-footed a lot of the time because I'm not confident in my knowledge, but I need to develop that. The way the rotation goes is that we work one on one with a different staff anaesthesiologist every day. Unfortunately it doesn't give them long to get to know us, so if you have a bit of a weak day, which everyone does now and then, you don't have the opportunity to improve on your performance for that preceptor.
It also means you're in a constant state of unsteadiness because different staff want things done differently. Basically, no matter how you do something, there's a pretty good chance you're not doing it to the preference of your staff. Not that it's necessarily wrong, but that it's not how they want it done. It's a bit tedious to learn each person's preferences each day, but I can understand that everyone has their own way of doing things. It would be nice to have a single preceptor for this rotation, though, and I think that's likely the feedback I'll give at the end of it.
You just don't have enough time with any one staff physician to get to know how they do things, and they don't have enough time with you to get to really assess your abilities.
After this I'm off to ICU for two weeks, then orthopaedics. ICU feels more than a bit intimidating and I feel like I'd feel more comfortable with it if I were doing it after my medicine rotation. Ortho looks quite interesting - I've been on the other side of the drape for several ortho surgeries - and it'll be nice to have a better view for those cases.
Overall I'm still really getting to that point where I feel like it's okay for me to actually do things as opposed to just observing or being taught via discussion. It's quite the transitional period and I expect it'll be a while yet before I really feel like part of the care team as opposed to a somewhat annoying outsider who asks lots of questions.
Look how big she is now!