Even though it's not a social smile at this point, little reflex smiles are still adorable. Even at 2am.
I'm on accommodated attendance for the next two weeks. Basically I'm attending virtually but I may actually just go in person since I feel fine. My recovery this time has been great, aside from the late spinal headache I developed. Still waiting on that to resolve completely, but it's not as bad as some migraines I've had so it's manageable. Compared to how I felt after my other two, this is pretty fantastic.
I'm nearly back in my prepregnancy clothes and expect I will be within the week. I'm down quite a bit from my prepregnancy weight as of this morning (the fact that I was below my prepregnancy weight the day I gave birth makes this somewhat less impressive) which is why this is the case. I expect I'll need new clothes once the postpartum tummy goes away, considering things are loose already, and I'm hoping to continue losing weight.
What's surprising me most about my recovery so far is that I'm not having the massive emotional swings that I had after my others. I did not go through those horrible crying jags a few days after she was born. I'm not starting to feel depressed or anxious at all. My mood is completely normal. Moreso than it was during pregnancy. I feel like myself. While I know this might change, especially as stress mounts in the coming weeks (I have a tOSCE in two weeks and our second year OSCE on everything we've learned the week after that...) I'm considering it a very good sign that I'm feeling so good at this point. My OB starting me back on my medication during my third trimester seems to be doing as we'd hoped and helping prevent postpartum mood issues.
Because I'll be away from baby/on Skype for several hours this week - 2 hours for clin skills, 3 hours each for tutorials and procomp - I've been pumping to get used to it. I've never been good at pumping milk but it's a necessity this time. Every ounce I pump is an ounce of formula we don't have to buy. She's actually my first kid to receive any formula at all, but we're using it as a placeholder while I build up a stash in the freezer and so that my husband can take over some feeds so I can study (since I'm not able to pump as much as she takes per feed.) The goal is to have her receiving only breastmilk since it's essentially free, aside from my time and the investment into the pump. I like free.
The fact that I'm going back to school this week isn't making me feel anxious or sad or anything. I'm quite okay with it; I've been missing the mental stimulation of tutorials and I feel like I'm getting behind and this is not a feeling I like. At the moment, I'm typing this while holding M, who is quite asleep, and I'm shortly going to go do my tutorial prep for tomorrow and go over the tutorials from last week.
It's nice that Plan A is working out. While I know it was certainly a possibility it wouldn't, having things go exactly as hoped is a nice change.