I really have to consider the feelings of my husband and kids in this decision and my husband was really uncomfortable with the idea of being in/around Toronto for four years. He wasn't going to ask me not to apply, but when I broached the subject the look of relief on his face was clear.
We aren't city people. Our (few) neighbours include cows and an orchard. The only reason we're considering Ottawa is because my husband grew up there and I spent ten years there. We're comfortable enough with that city. It also doesn't feel as big as it is, which matters to us.
So, instead of the 6 schools I was originally planning to apply to, I'm applying to only four. My chances at two of them - MUN and Ottawa, my two preferred schools - are pretty small.
But I've made peace with the idea I might not get in this year. If I don't, I don't, and I'll be happy to finish my BSc at my current school, which I love. My chances next year are much, much higher anyway, so if I don't get in this cycle I should be able to for next year.
As it is now, I'm just feeling sort of whiny and tired and I really want to go swimming, so I might. The kids have lessons at 5, but I could hit the pool for a while before that.